Author: Steve Cuno

It was divine intervention, I tell you. I was driving along, belting out “Nobody Loves Me” with operatic gusto, when a “Jesus loves you” billboard stopped me halfway through the part about eating worms. For proof, it cited one of two Bible texts perpetually poised on the tips of ardent Christian tongues: “Greater love hath …

Never mind how many decades ago I took college astronomy. Suffice it to say that I needed a refresher. Rather than waste time on lightweights such as Brian Cox, Phil Plait, and Neil deGrasse Tyson, I turned to the Science Book of science books—that is, the Bible. All I can say is that the National …

Readers and Free Inquiry’s editorial board will, I hope, forgive my using this space to promote my new consulting business. I’m still toying with names, but as of this writing the leading contenders are Conscience Relievers™ and 21st Century Indulgences™. The concept for the business came to me as I reviewed a religious apologist’s insightful …

Christianity and the Triumph of Humor: From Dante to David Javerbaum, by Bernard Schweizer. (New York: Routledge, 2020, ISBN 9780367785338). 254 pp. Softcover, $48.95. In 2001, psychologist Richard Wiseman set out to identify the world’s funniest joke. To that end, he created a website where people could submit and rate jokes. He eventually conceded that …

In fond memory of Christmas archnemesis Tom Flynn Once again, we arrive at that most wonderful time of the year. I refer to Christmastime, the season—in the United States, anyway—of decked-out pine trees, gag-reflex-inducing TV specials, and fresh, righteous, Starbucks cup–sparked outrage. And, not to be overlooked, your local paper will likely reprint the 1897 …

From time to time in this space, I have alluded to the Abrahamic god’s contract. In response to incessant, nonexistent reader demand, I obtained the most recent version of said contract and secured exclusive permission to publish it in Free Inquiry. Aren’t you glad you subscribe? * * * Preamble 1. The purpose of this …

I am pleased to report that there are still a few considerate souls out there who give a rat’s hindquarters about what the heck they say and whom the honk they offend. These good folks have managed to harness the power of cussing while sparing tender ears. This they accomplish through mastery of the pseudo-expletive. …

Trigger warning: I am about to admit to a misdeed. I hope it doesn’t come as too much of a shock. After all, I humbly acknowledge how easily and reasonably one could mistake me for perfection personified. It happens all the time. The fact is, I once committed an act so hideously immoral that, even …

As this issue goes to press, Christians throughout the world will be gearing up to retell one another the story of the first Christmas. I see no reason for Free Inquiry to be any different, so here goes. No, not that first Christmas. I’m well aware that, centuries before the Common Era, Saturnalia laid the …

Christians, next time you invent a god, mind the omnis. An omnibenevolent, omnipotent god is just begging for some smarty-pants such as Epicurus to come along and point out that you’ve stepped in a big pile of the Problem of Evil. The Problem of Evil, as summarized by the above-referenced smarty-pants, is this: Is God …

The English muffin residing in my cupboard is no ordinary baked good. It accurately predicts the outcomes of major sporting events. I know, because I have jotted down its predictions and compared them against final scores for years. It has never missed. Its remarkable ability came to my attention one summer morning in 2004. I …

Author’s note: As I write, some of us turn to humor as a coping mechanism amid the horror that is the coronavirus pandemic. If by press time this piece lands poorly, I apologize in advance. If the coronavirus has claimed someone dear to you, you might want to skip this piece and read something better, …

People with nothing important to think about may wonder what qualifies me to write for Free Inquiry. I am, after all, no expert on humanism. I’m no expert in theology, either. (But then, neither are theologians, unless expertise in the dealings of a nonexistent being is a thing.) And I can neither confirm nor deny …

If you’re looking to improve your parenting skills, I have great news. You can ignore the tower of parenting books your in-laws dropped off within minutes of the plus-sign’s appearance on the stick. Bastion of humanity and rationality Focus on the Family (FOF) points out that the bible on parenting is none other than the …

The African leopard is not part of the cat family. I beg the indulgence of the taxonomically anal-retentive. I am well aware that Panthera pardus pardus falls under Felidae, and that felidae has meant cat ever since Julius Caesar asked Cicero to think up a shorter way to say “those pointy-eared creatures the Egyptians are …

God, if you’re reading this, a word of advice: Hire an editor. By now even you must be aware that most of the time your followers haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I wish I had a full collection plate for every time I have heard the likes of “… and then I realized …

I live in the Salt Lake City metropolitan area. As some of you may be aware, more than a few Mormons live here, too. Thanks to this unique religious demographic— Oops. My bad. I meant to say that more than a few members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints live here. These …

Gadzooks. A shocking revelation just took down another politician. Nearby and on the same day, another cleric was busted, too. I shall withhold their names, not for legal reasons or discretion’s sake but because I’m writing weeks before they will have been caught and therefore don’t know who they will turn out to be. Still, …

Today’s gods are lazy. And it’s our fault. Back in the day, gods established their bona fides by staging spectacular miracles. Lotuses sprouted from the baby Buddha’s footsteps. Zeus hurled thunderbolts, reversed Earth’s rotation, and turned infants into adults. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob parted the Red Sea, split the moon, and, millennia …

Not long ago, a champion of humanity set me straight. Someone in our monochromatic, melanin-deficient lunch gathering had mentioned race, and before I could think better of it I had naively blurted something about racism not being a good thing. The above-referenced champion politely pointed out my error. The real problem, he explained, is that …

I bristled when I overheard a friend place the evidence for Jesus and Santa on a par. I felt it was patently unfair to Santa. Don’t get me wrong. I am no fan of Christmas. For all I care, the likes of Santa, Jesus, decorations, and Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” can …

There are places where belief in the wrong or in no deity is a capital offense, a fact that makes decent people recoil in horror and, when they can, take action.1 But in places like the United States of America, where killing someone for not accepting the right religion remains illegal,2 it would seem that …

I am told religion makes people behave better. I do not dispute it. When religion draws a line and slaps a thou shalt not sticker on it, believers mind the old Ps and Qs. This came dramatically to my attention over lunch with Brad, whom I hadn’t seen in years and whose name isn’t really Brad, as …

One opponent of sexual harassment realizes that he’s been less than blameless.

How to make absolutely sure that some high-demand cult will take over your life. If that’s really what you want.