Hello, God, it’s me. I haven’t bothered with you for quite some time. I figured: What’s the use? But then it occurred to me that maybe you are real. In that case, I request something very simple from you.

Can you … would you … please write up your job description? You know—what your duties are as supreme being and your responsibilities to all you create? How do you demonstrate the presumed intensity of your commitment to creation in general and to creatures in particular—especially to us humans? After all, the “sacred literature” claims you made everything that ever existed and now exists with a simple nod of your head or perhaps a few simple words from your mouth.

For most of my long life, I felt, despite all and whatever blows and setbacks I’d been enduring, that your divine providence was on the job, as promised by Jesus, somehow orchestrating some benevolent process ultimately leading to a happy outcome. The literature tells of Jesus praising you, his father, for cloaking the flowers in radiance beyond Solomon’s and your careful watch of every bird in flight.

To this, I must now—in my perhaps temporary state of intellectual integrity—declare: malarkey! I can no longer see that supposed benevolence at work in the world, in my life, in my dying wife’s life … or anywhere else! If you are real and as powerful a dude as your apostles and clerics declare, one should expect a bit of evidence, right?

On the contrary, you are either unknowing or unable to rise to the occasion to help your endangered creation with its multitudes of creatures. For somebody who is omniscient and omnipotent, this failure to be of assistance when most needed is unforgiveable. Oh yes, sorry; you are the only being without any need to be forgiven. You reserve the right to forgive for yourself, and you exercise that power capriciously and, for most humans, irrationally.

I’ve just coined a new nickname for you, “The Supreme Indifference.” All hell is breaking out in this little world called Earth, and you resemble a neophyte boxer with hands tied behind your back and thrown into the ring against Muhammad Ali!

I simply don’t know how to express my utter disappointment in you! My earlier life was wasted trying to uphold your law and justify your actions or inactions. Alas! Even your supposed first-born son, Jesus, didn’t get a break from you, his almighty father! It is written that he cried aloud on that cross of torture, begging you for something. Saving intervention, perhaps? Remember his anguished complaint: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

The answer, if it can be called an answer, was a couple more hours of agony, bleeding away his life and ultimately dying of asphyxiation. Wow, some father you are! And it’s the same deal for all your human children on Earth … past, present, and future breathing individuals. You simply haven’t a clue about parenthood, fatherhood, motherhood, or a creator’s responsibility, do you?

But perhaps I am wrong. Maybe your divine providence is at work in the universe and in this world! Invisible but here! Although I so dislike the adage, the proof is in the pudding. Unfortunately, there is no divine pudding and no proof about a supernatural realm or about you! I shall not mock or condemn those who continue to declare their allegiance to you. I was for many years one of their number. However, I do mind that so many of them exempt themselves from the teachings and mandates of your son while claiming to be one with him!

So, allow me please to present to you a few demands:

1. Inspire your spokespeople—priests, nuns, ministers, imams, rabbis, etc.—to write their job descriptions and see if they align with yours; publish them online for easy access by your/their followers to allow verification or failure.
2. Cease and desist from continual use of those easy explanations your servants employ to explain personal tragedies. Such would be reassuring platitudes simply do not stand up to reality. The worst of these for Catholics is: Your suffering will free souls in purgatory and hasten them to heaven.
3. If, as I’m tempted to believe, you have become totally disgusted with the humanity part of your creation and have decided to leave this universe and try again in another dimension, just reveal that to us! We: “Where are you, God?” You: “I’m AWOL, and please don’t bother me anymore!” That should be simple enough for an almighty being!
4. Come clean with us: Stop the nonsensical “explanations” for the overwhelming triumph of evil in this world. You know every one of the bad actors; perhaps you have inspired many of them yourself. There are countless such “explanations,” but bear with me as I list a few that grate my psyche like fingernails scraping on a blackboard:
   1. “God’s ways are not our ways.” This is the umbrella protecting you from complaint and anger. Despite your boasts of divine providence, numerous oppressive regimes worldwide continue to inflict pain, suffering and death upon millions of your children! Some divine providence!
   2. After creating humans with free will—or some measure thereof—you have managed to get yourself off the hook and repudiate your responsibility for all evil. Free will is to blame, not me!
   3. “God always answers prayers: Yes; Not yet; Not good for you; etc., etc.” You either hear/heed prayers from your alleged children or you don’t! My suspicion is you don’t! Are you even there, here, anywhere? Are there divine ears in the universe?
   4. “All will be revealed after our death and resurrection from the dead.” Combine this dandy piece of incredible promising with the comforting notion of hoped-for earthly interventions by “saints” and other deceased loved ones. Give me a break. I personally asked four beloved individuals as they were dying to make known to me that they were “well” after their deaths! All four sincerely agreed, but, regrettably, none made contact. It appears that even good intentioned actions are impossible for the dead! So why continue to foster such false hope for the living?
   5. You—omniscient, omnipotent, all holy, all loving—should have learned by now how to derail potential and actual brutal dictatorships, quash human belligerence, prevent/end bloody wars and gun massacres using your infinite power following your son’s lead about love and service to others. Oh, sorry again—you’ve exempted yourself from the obligations your son imposed upon his followers! How convenient for you!

Your concepts of goodness and justice seem very different from mine. You have forged reality into a double-edged sword. One edge manifests irony, the other pathos. Each edge is deadly in its own way. So, I now feel forced to conclude that you are one of the following: an absentee landlord, an AWOL deity, a totally passive observer watching a dismal show, a wishful figment of human imagination, or the Celestial Jokester with a sinister sense of humor!

Sorry if none of these characterizations pleases your sensitivities!