From time to time, people try to save my soul. I’m flattered by their interest in me (or is it interest in their own status with the Almighty?). Besides, they do tend to be awfully persistent, panting to meet me one-on-one if telephone evangelism has not worked. I want to let them down gently. I have devised a strategy that might just satisfy one and all.

I announce that their efforts have been rewarded. They have convinced me. I accept Jesus as my personal savior and want nothing more than to have a meaningful relationship with him. Hallelujah!

I wait a bit so that my evangelist will feel good. Then I inquire as to whether I can ask a question. My evangelist is likely to feel generous enough to allow me. My question is: “Okay, so now I’m converted. So what? How will my life be different?

Because I have yet to use this ploy in real life, I have no idea what a would-be evangelist would answer. Will I no longer mug old-age pensioners? But I don’t mug them now. Will I do more volunteer work and donate more to worthy causes? Yes, I am somewhat remiss in those departments. But realizing that lack makes me want to make amends right now—even before I have said my first prayer.

So I must confess [!] to my personal missionary that no one who knew me before my conversion would fail to know me now. For better or worse, I remain much the same.

In which case, I hardly see the need to be converted after all.